As I am sitting here watching Julie & Julia...the passion in this movie excites and ignites me like nothing else. So often we go through the motions and never have or feel any passion.
No matter your path...no matter what you like...no matter what you do...pour yourself into it. LIVE! FEEL! BE!!!!
I cook and I'm a great cook...a new friend of mine heard about my business venture and bought me a Julia Child cookbook. I have to admit that initially I wasn't interested. My friend is a fabulous cook. When we retreat to her (and her husband's) house in the NC mountains, we are treated with homemade bagels, brownies so rich they melt in your mouth, roasted and succulent meats and the most heavenly pastries ever - always coupled with a cup of coffee. She advised me to watch Julia and Julie - I looked for it in Redbox but didn't see it and my local Blockbuster has closed. Last night as I was surfing the television channels - I groaned as the movie had 10 minutes left. I checked for more show times and found another showing. I am taping it so I can watch it again and again.
When I received Julia's massive cook book in the mail - I could think of several other cookbooks I'd rather have. I took the book to bed with me and read it. In that brief time, I remembered watching Julia Child on Public Television with my Mother. I remembered Julia's accent, I remembered my Mother flipping food (successfully for the most part) out of a pan and some of the recipes she made and I turned my nose up at them.
As I read - a brand new world opened up to me. I had severely dated Julia Child to the 70s. Aspic...really who eats it and why? Yes, there are several things in her book that I would never make BUT without a doubt, Mrs. Child was ahead of her time. She was passionate and efficient...the things that I seek.
Her cookbook was a lesson in passion for me...for my business and for my life...
For years I watched passionate people being passionate about everything from running to sports to music...but where was my passion? Quite simply, it had been murdered. By me and by anyone I'd let get close to my passion.
I made a pledge that I would go wholeheartedly into every task I could and would undertake...it's time consuming. Sometimes I get frustrated and angry. Sometimes I hate it and want to run away or blame someone else...anyone else.
When I passionately move forward things go better and go faster. Things look better and I develop more confidence to take on more things.
Never in a million years would I have tackled the projects I tackled - I painted my downstairs, I am organized, I took a class on organization and in one short month...I'm amazing. I made a bow for my new front door wreath. I bought cushions for my wicker chairs and didn't care if the colors weren't appropriate for fall...I liked them. I bought a pair of purple suede pumps...how's that for passion? I lost 35 pounds and am still losing.
What you love, being passionate and doing it - only need you and your time. I promise you - the journey to passion is easy once you take the first step. Ask yourself what it is that you love...then do it.
That is all there is to it..
Namaste!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Independence Day
I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th! I also hope everyone spent some time reflecting on what Independence day means. July 4th holds a special place in my heart for several reasons. It was 12 years ago on July 4th that I locked my hair. Even then I mused how symbolic is that? I always viewed dreadlocks as a symbol of freedom (most people view it as a symbol of rebellion). That was such a liberating day when I decided to loced my hair.
I never viewed myself as a patriotic person. July 4th was nothing more than a day off for me. A day to rest and sleep. That vision changed several years ago when I became keenly aware of what the United States Military does for us. I worked for a company that "dedicated" a space to some Veterans and spending time with them really shook my belief to the core. I had a new found respect for our service men and women and I have an even deeper respect for them now.
Fast forward to Independence Day 2012 - I made the decision to free myself. I live in the land of the free and the home of the brave and I am far from free and brave. I have created a jail cell within my mind. My error thoughts hold me in captivity. My wrong thinking, my fears, my concerns about what people think...all hold me captive. Outwardly, I normally don't care what people think about me but internally I twist, shake, churn and worry. The behavior isn't worth it. The feelings and emotions aren't worth it. I decided that I would shake off the learned behaviors that do not serve me. In essence, I decided to free myself. To claim MY independence from everyone and everything.
My journey has been a slow one with many setbacks but I've never been in a better place. All my friends marvel at my growth (even though I don't see it). I'm making my own decisions and mistakes and it's okay. I have always loved people where they are but now it's amazing. I am free enough and secure enough to allow people to make their own decisions and think their own thoughts...now...that's independence.
Be kind to yourself today...and do whatever you need to do in order to be truly free!
Lots of love!
I never viewed myself as a patriotic person. July 4th was nothing more than a day off for me. A day to rest and sleep. That vision changed several years ago when I became keenly aware of what the United States Military does for us. I worked for a company that "dedicated" a space to some Veterans and spending time with them really shook my belief to the core. I had a new found respect for our service men and women and I have an even deeper respect for them now.
Fast forward to Independence Day 2012 - I made the decision to free myself. I live in the land of the free and the home of the brave and I am far from free and brave. I have created a jail cell within my mind. My error thoughts hold me in captivity. My wrong thinking, my fears, my concerns about what people think...all hold me captive. Outwardly, I normally don't care what people think about me but internally I twist, shake, churn and worry. The behavior isn't worth it. The feelings and emotions aren't worth it. I decided that I would shake off the learned behaviors that do not serve me. In essence, I decided to free myself. To claim MY independence from everyone and everything.
My journey has been a slow one with many setbacks but I've never been in a better place. All my friends marvel at my growth (even though I don't see it). I'm making my own decisions and mistakes and it's okay. I have always loved people where they are but now it's amazing. I am free enough and secure enough to allow people to make their own decisions and think their own thoughts...now...that's independence.
Be kind to yourself today...and do whatever you need to do in order to be truly free!
Lots of love!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Welcome Steven and Ru
Awwwww! I have three followers and I am extremely happy and grateful that you decided to come along for the ride.
Welcome!!!!!
Welcome!!!!!
Today's Lesson
My Mini Cooper is sick…the transmission is falling apart (exact words of the service manager). Fortunately, I purchased an extended warranty and she’s covered. The transmission is $5,000 and with labor it will run approximately $8,000. I have to admit that I was nervous about the warranty. What if I read it wrong? What if this part isn’t covered? What if I can’t get it fixed? This is the chatter of the monkey mind that I mentioned (if thoughts are things) yesterday. I called the dealership where I purchased the car and they told me that I had to take my car to a Mini/BMW dealership because they don’t repair them. My mind leaped into all possibilities. What if, How come…etc. The service manager gave me the warranty number and I called the Mini dealership. They said they were busy, there was no way they could service my Mini and I would have to make an appointment for another day. I said okay and hung up. Told my significant other and he drove the car to the dealership and lo and behold my Donald Shimoda got them to take the car AND give us a loaner. I was speechless. This bought a new awareness to me… “Donald” is a manifester.
While he doesn’t “believe” in the LOA or is not “into metaphysics” he’s a natural with this. So I began to analyze (cause that’s what this Virgo does) and so many things came to mind. I believe the worst will happen. While “Donald” believes that as well..I love his thought pattern “he say prepare for the worst but expect the best” and he often asks me “what’s the worst that can happen?” and he plans from that point to the best. Reaching the best scenario – he dwells on it. He also doesn’t let anything stick to him. He “appears” to never worry. Why should he? “Donald” has me to do the worrying! His concept lets me see that the worst that can happen isn’t as bad you think it is. For instance, I don’t ride roller coasters. Why you may ask? I’ll be the one in the car that flies off the track and I’ll die. “Donald” says “how many times has that happened? Why do you think it will happen to you? Do you really believe that you are that special? Out of 20 roller coaster cars YOURS will derail and fly off the track? How realistic is that?” “Donald asks. I stand there feeling silly, laughing nervously and calculating that it will still happen (this is what I spoke of yesterday – thoughts become things…I am always thinking the worse – what if I cross the street here, I’ll get hit…these things NEVER come anywhere near fruition – thank God!).
I, on the other hand, plan for the worse and stay there. Now this is a powerful belief system for me. As the response was this morning: a belief is a thought that you think over and over AND I admit, I never viewed it that way but I like that idea. My beliefs are not my beliefs. They are my Mother’s beliefs – I just latched onto them or acquired them over time. This fear has been programmed and I allowed it. This is code within me. My life coach encouraged me to take a look at my beliefs and those that did not serve me or no longer served me needed to be eliminated. This goes back to comfort zone. Oh but it is so glorious to think these thoughts…I have always thought them and it is so familiar. As my 12 step program says “If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got, and you'll always feel what you always felt.” I’m tired of feeling this way yet I gravitate to the same feelings AGAIN.
So today…I have taken the time to sit in each “odd” feeling and see where it comes from. BTW, I am surprisingly calm right now. As each feeling/emotion came to the surface, I asked why? Most of it was inherent, inane imaginings. As I mentioned, my Mother was/is in a constant state of fear. I know a lot comes from her. As each situation presented itself, instead of allowing fear to rule, I asked a series of questions: Where did “you” come from? What is “your” purpose? What is it “you” want? What, if anything, are “you” attempting to teach me or to prove? Some answers came immediately – others lingered, went away and then came back. This process is time consuming but it kept my mind engaged in the present – not the murky fearful mistakes of the past and not the uncertain fears of the future. Today’s Daily OM was great confirmation for me!
All day I have been trying to visualize and reach for the next best feeling and nothing worked. I know LOA is like everything else in our lives – we have to see what fits/resonates with us. Trial and error isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t have the luxury of making mistakes growing up or in my adult life so this is an interesting concept to be able to say “this doesn’t work for me and I am not going to try and make it work. I shall move on to something else.” I always viewed that behavior as failure.
I am having a blast learning today. Thanks all for allowing me to discover, learn and share!
I am a member of several Yahoo groups and when one member posts something she almost always says "if it resonates with you use it..if not let it go." This was MAJOR for me. I grew up with a mindset that if it is here in front of you - it's for you. Spirit put it here and it is a sin not to take it and use it. This resulted in being inundated with information, information overload and chronic forgetfulness. Who wouldn't forget when you have so much stored? Especially items stored that aren't for your use or edification - just useless stuff stored for party/game trivia or for the appearance of being a know-it-all (and yes...that is what I wanted).
I love being able to sign up for a blog, for information, and when it doesn't speak to me, I don't feel "obligated" to continue receiving or reading it. Very liberating for me.
The mistake "thing" flows over at work. I have four people I deal with (heavily) and they all have four very different opinions and motives. I will give them something to review and all four will have four different comments. Initially, when I saw the mark ups I felt inadequate. No, I didn't ask myself why but I suspect it was an expectation, which my "Donald" says "expectations are resentments waiting to happen." I expected myself to know what each person wanted to say or how they wanted to say it. I expected that the document was perfect with no mistakes. I expected that I knew better than my other colleagues. I treated these mark ups as personal attacks and this belief kept me bound. I'd be sick to my stomach when I submitted items to the team - just knowing they would rip it apart. Some of the comments are "controlling" and I just laugh them off. Sometimes they comment to get "back" at each other. It has become a game to me and it is humorous to see adults behaving this way.
I always preached this to my daughter "you are not a failure if you learn something from the experience." It's easier to say it than to believe it. I obviously didn't believe it or worse...I never learned from failure of mistakes. I kept pounding my head against a brick wall. "Ouch that hurts" or as "Donald" says "if it hurts when you move your arm like that...stop moving your arm like that."
Pretty simple stuff, hunh?
While he doesn’t “believe” in the LOA or is not “into metaphysics” he’s a natural with this. So I began to analyze (cause that’s what this Virgo does) and so many things came to mind. I believe the worst will happen. While “Donald” believes that as well..I love his thought pattern “he say prepare for the worst but expect the best” and he often asks me “what’s the worst that can happen?” and he plans from that point to the best. Reaching the best scenario – he dwells on it. He also doesn’t let anything stick to him. He “appears” to never worry. Why should he? “Donald” has me to do the worrying! His concept lets me see that the worst that can happen isn’t as bad you think it is. For instance, I don’t ride roller coasters. Why you may ask? I’ll be the one in the car that flies off the track and I’ll die. “Donald” says “how many times has that happened? Why do you think it will happen to you? Do you really believe that you are that special? Out of 20 roller coaster cars YOURS will derail and fly off the track? How realistic is that?” “Donald asks. I stand there feeling silly, laughing nervously and calculating that it will still happen (this is what I spoke of yesterday – thoughts become things…I am always thinking the worse – what if I cross the street here, I’ll get hit…these things NEVER come anywhere near fruition – thank God!).
I, on the other hand, plan for the worse and stay there. Now this is a powerful belief system for me. As the response was this morning: a belief is a thought that you think over and over AND I admit, I never viewed it that way but I like that idea. My beliefs are not my beliefs. They are my Mother’s beliefs – I just latched onto them or acquired them over time. This fear has been programmed and I allowed it. This is code within me. My life coach encouraged me to take a look at my beliefs and those that did not serve me or no longer served me needed to be eliminated. This goes back to comfort zone. Oh but it is so glorious to think these thoughts…I have always thought them and it is so familiar. As my 12 step program says “If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got, and you'll always feel what you always felt.” I’m tired of feeling this way yet I gravitate to the same feelings AGAIN.
So today…I have taken the time to sit in each “odd” feeling and see where it comes from. BTW, I am surprisingly calm right now. As each feeling/emotion came to the surface, I asked why? Most of it was inherent, inane imaginings. As I mentioned, my Mother was/is in a constant state of fear. I know a lot comes from her. As each situation presented itself, instead of allowing fear to rule, I asked a series of questions: Where did “you” come from? What is “your” purpose? What is it “you” want? What, if anything, are “you” attempting to teach me or to prove? Some answers came immediately – others lingered, went away and then came back. This process is time consuming but it kept my mind engaged in the present – not the murky fearful mistakes of the past and not the uncertain fears of the future. Today’s Daily OM was great confirmation for me!
All day I have been trying to visualize and reach for the next best feeling and nothing worked. I know LOA is like everything else in our lives – we have to see what fits/resonates with us. Trial and error isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t have the luxury of making mistakes growing up or in my adult life so this is an interesting concept to be able to say “this doesn’t work for me and I am not going to try and make it work. I shall move on to something else.” I always viewed that behavior as failure.
I am having a blast learning today. Thanks all for allowing me to discover, learn and share!
I am a member of several Yahoo groups and when one member posts something she almost always says "if it resonates with you use it..if not let it go." This was MAJOR for me. I grew up with a mindset that if it is here in front of you - it's for you. Spirit put it here and it is a sin not to take it and use it. This resulted in being inundated with information, information overload and chronic forgetfulness. Who wouldn't forget when you have so much stored? Especially items stored that aren't for your use or edification - just useless stuff stored for party/game trivia or for the appearance of being a know-it-all (and yes...that is what I wanted).
I love being able to sign up for a blog, for information, and when it doesn't speak to me, I don't feel "obligated" to continue receiving or reading it. Very liberating for me.
The mistake "thing" flows over at work. I have four people I deal with (heavily) and they all have four very different opinions and motives. I will give them something to review and all four will have four different comments. Initially, when I saw the mark ups I felt inadequate. No, I didn't ask myself why but I suspect it was an expectation, which my "Donald" says "expectations are resentments waiting to happen." I expected myself to know what each person wanted to say or how they wanted to say it. I expected that the document was perfect with no mistakes. I expected that I knew better than my other colleagues. I treated these mark ups as personal attacks and this belief kept me bound. I'd be sick to my stomach when I submitted items to the team - just knowing they would rip it apart. Some of the comments are "controlling" and I just laugh them off. Sometimes they comment to get "back" at each other. It has become a game to me and it is humorous to see adults behaving this way.
I always preached this to my daughter "you are not a failure if you learn something from the experience." It's easier to say it than to believe it. I obviously didn't believe it or worse...I never learned from failure of mistakes. I kept pounding my head against a brick wall. "Ouch that hurts" or as "Donald" says "if it hurts when you move your arm like that...stop moving your arm like that."
Pretty simple stuff, hunh?
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Meditative and Mindful Baking
Many people have written about baking bread as meditation. Just google it and lots of things will come up - from cookbooks to blogs.
I admit that I am not a baker. I love baked goods but I can't bake. Years ago I realized my baking skills were lacking due to a lack of patience. I am the baker that opens the oven door, that stands there tapping her feet, sneaking small pieces of bread, cake, brownies, cookies, rolls well before they are done. I end up tossing the whole lot because they weren't good enough. Well...that says something about me and my need for perfection.
I recently began honoring and loving myself on a level deeper than surface love (looking good, buying expensive products and items). I have always meditated but now I do it with ease and peace because I love myself and I need to take care of me.
This self love and self care spills over to the meals I create as well as my baking skills. I spent yesterday relaxing and making sticky buns for my beloved. Today I created pumpernickel bread - an homage to the man I love. The deliberate measuring of ingredients, the proper placement, the clean up, the patience, the love and the simplicity all put me such a peaceful state of mind.
I used this recipe and it was a breeze: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pumpernickel-Rye-Bread/Detail.aspx. I used my bread machine and all I had to do was set and forget it.
Look at the finished product...it tastes as good as it looks. I have to pick my beloved friend up from the airport and I shall make his favorite sandwich using this fresh baked bread. What a treat to the mind, body and spirit.
Who says baking can't add a dimension to your meditation?
Sunday Musings
Good morning all!
Sunday is my favorite day of the week. It's something sacred and wonderful about Sunday and I am not sure why but it just my favorite day. I can remember running around the house as a child (and as an adult) to get ready for church (which was never a favorite for me - it was always a production). My Mother would put my Father's clothes out for him, inspect what I had on, make breakfast, clean up, get dressed, do hair and make a mad dash to the car for an hour and a half worth of "preaching." Sunday is the day before Monday and Monday means back to work for most of us so why would this be my favorite day? I have no clue.
This Sunday stands out for me because it is Father's day. My Father has been in spirit form for 17 years yet it seems just like yesterday to me. My Father is a truly wonderful, gentle man (and yes I used present tense because he is always with me) and I love him. So, Dad, wherever your Spirit form is - I love you and miss you! Happy Father's Day to my Father! And a very Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers out there. Don't underestimate your worth and power. If your children don't tell you they love you for awhile or if they utter that dreadful "I hate you" - keep loving them...they need you and you need them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WFQVgyNNE0 I just LOVE this version. I adore Lionel Ritchie! Even though this song is about leaving - it is just so peaceful and beautiful. This man's voice is amazing. Here is a longer version (although not the version with Wille Nelson) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waV741V1MHY
Perhaps I love Sunday because biblical it is the day of rest and I honor that and myself. Sunday is often a day of reflection for me - how did my week go, what does my upcoming week look like, what did I accomplish, what lessons did I learn?
During my adult years, Sundays have always had a nice, slow and relaxing routine for me. I make sure that there is absolutely NOTHING I have to do on Sunday. When my Daughter was an infant, Sunday morning was grocery store shopping. I'd get her dressed we'd head to the grocery store. That was my peace, my meditation and my time to connect to with her. I always feel like Sunday is the ultimate relaxation day because everything mandatory has been done. Sunday - is about me! I can bake (which is what I am doing now), meditate, walk, relax, sleep late, sip coffee on the porch and rejuvenate.
I do believe in God but I don't frequently go to church, but I spent everyday in some form of worship - I don't have to set aside one day to praise, pray or recognize my Higher Power.
For the most part, I am alone. My best friend in the entire world is home about once a month, so my routines are not set in stone - sometimes we attend church, sometimes we walk, sometimes I walk, sometimes I stay in bed all day, sometime we go to brunch, you get it.
I try to focus on my fledgling blog on Sunday too. I have a chance to catch-up on any blogs I didn't have time to read earlier in the week and to just surf the Internet. This is the ultimate indulgence!
I am going to grab another cup of coffee and finish the pumpernickel bread and sit quietly with my thoughts until I feel the urge to do something else.
I leave you with this...The Secret of Life is enjoying the passage of time." - Enjoy your Sunday!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Self Care
I spent last night nourishing my inner Diva and watching chick flicks. I wanted to...no needed to feel girly, sexy, seductive, glamorous and pampered. I believe in pampering. I believe in taking care of myself but I notice that I neglect the most important part of me - the spiritual part.
It has become so easy to allow myself to get bogged down in the unglamorous day to day that I not only appear frumpy, I feel frumpy. Is this because we look to the external to make us feel a certain way? In the immortal words of Billy Crystal (portraying Fernando Lamas) "It is better to look good than to feel good." If you are too young to remember this SNL skit - look it up on Hulu or YouTube - it's hilarious. To a certain extent I do believe that looking our best helps us feel our best. It's just that we have taken this concept too far. We doll up the outside and have an inside that looks like a monster and we feel that is okay. We think we can fake it. Yes, most of us do fake it, but there are enlightened beings that realize - I look marvelous yet I feel awful. I was that person and if not careful I can still be that person. Life does NOT have to be unglamorous. You should feel and be glamorous whether you are baking sticky buns, having a mani and pedi, sipping coffee or knee deep in the hoopla of the day. Glamour comes from within. It has nothing to do with what you have on or whether your makeup is impeccable. It has everything to do with how you feel!
I have worn the most expensive of items, have purchased the top of the line of everything and I kept purchasing. I was looking for the next best feeling. I always managed to find it but I always kept looking for bigger, better, faster...this quest became endless and I was still empty.
Recently (within the past two years), my focus and reality shifted. I pared down the physical - lost weight. I donated, sold, freecycled many of my possessions and started paying attention to what the hungry spiritual part of me needed (not wanted) and things fell into place.
The key is REMEMBERING! Remember who you are. Remember your purpose. Remember why you are here. Remember to nourish your body, mind and soul. Remember that your outward appearance is not who you are. Remember to allow the beautiful, magnificent inner light to shine for all to see. Regardless of what you have been through, what you have or have not done or what others have told you...let that light of beauty shine.
Do whatever it takes to nourish your inner Diva - take time for you. I recommend morning and evening long, slow and relaxing meditations and short meditations throughout your day. This keeps the glamour going.
Try this one on for size, my beautiful spirited friends:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D56tUOdpgts
It has become so easy to allow myself to get bogged down in the unglamorous day to day that I not only appear frumpy, I feel frumpy. Is this because we look to the external to make us feel a certain way? In the immortal words of Billy Crystal (portraying Fernando Lamas) "It is better to look good than to feel good." If you are too young to remember this SNL skit - look it up on Hulu or YouTube - it's hilarious. To a certain extent I do believe that looking our best helps us feel our best. It's just that we have taken this concept too far. We doll up the outside and have an inside that looks like a monster and we feel that is okay. We think we can fake it. Yes, most of us do fake it, but there are enlightened beings that realize - I look marvelous yet I feel awful. I was that person and if not careful I can still be that person. Life does NOT have to be unglamorous. You should feel and be glamorous whether you are baking sticky buns, having a mani and pedi, sipping coffee or knee deep in the hoopla of the day. Glamour comes from within. It has nothing to do with what you have on or whether your makeup is impeccable. It has everything to do with how you feel!
I have worn the most expensive of items, have purchased the top of the line of everything and I kept purchasing. I was looking for the next best feeling. I always managed to find it but I always kept looking for bigger, better, faster...this quest became endless and I was still empty.
Recently (within the past two years), my focus and reality shifted. I pared down the physical - lost weight. I donated, sold, freecycled many of my possessions and started paying attention to what the hungry spiritual part of me needed (not wanted) and things fell into place.
The key is REMEMBERING! Remember who you are. Remember your purpose. Remember why you are here. Remember to nourish your body, mind and soul. Remember that your outward appearance is not who you are. Remember to allow the beautiful, magnificent inner light to shine for all to see. Regardless of what you have been through, what you have or have not done or what others have told you...let that light of beauty shine.
Do whatever it takes to nourish your inner Diva - take time for you. I recommend morning and evening long, slow and relaxing meditations and short meditations throughout your day. This keeps the glamour going.
Try this one on for size, my beautiful spirited friends:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D56tUOdpgts
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