tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39511820107186605062024-02-21T10:10:29.714-05:00Voluptuous MuseWelcome to the ever changing and evolving world of the Voluptuous Muse.
I create and I nurture! I am a woman, I am a deity, I am a Mother, I am Kali, I am a friend, I am Hecate, I am a lover, I am Freya, I am Lilith, I am strength, I am Demeter, I am Creator! I am his Muse!
My blog is dedicated to any one who will listen! To those who want the truth.
It is very candid as it chronicles my frustrations, joys, loves, passion and this thing we call life!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-6519416180649734252014-02-12T12:42:00.001-05:002014-02-12T12:42:59.799-05:00Hello from cold, snowy and icy AtlantaThis is the second time in as many weeks that this has happened to us. Today we have rain and beautifully frozen icy trees.<br />
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I always welcome time to be home - even if I am ill. I love being home. This is one of my goals...dare I say it? To be a housewife. There...I said it. Those would be considered fighting words years ago. It doesn't matter who doesn't care for my decisions and choices. It's what I want.<br />
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With all the wondrous women - stay at home Moms, housewives, work from home moms and wives...I think it is time we remove the stigma for those of us that want this type of lifestyle.<br />
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I work a very stressful job and honestly my profession can be a stressful one. Couple that with being engaged to a soldier that is not stationed in the same state I am in...coordination can become a beast.<br />
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Requesting time off - I have the time and in a perfect world I should be able to take it when I need to. My soldier deployed last year and I needed two weeks off. Never mind I get a month of vacation a year - one manager was besides himself that I asked for two weeks off. <br />
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Running a household alone - enough said<br />
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Running multiple households - enough said<br />
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What glorious freedom to be home. Saturday and Sunday do not provide enough time to run errands, clean and catch up. I do, however, subscribe to The FLY lady's way of cleaning and I do have things under control - or at least a bit better.<br />
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So today...I slept in, rested, entertained my neighbor, meditated, prayed, cleaned and organized. I even have time to study for my real estate test! SWEET!<br />
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Here's to staying at home...and loving it!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-37059776754366861922013-09-01T13:03:00.001-04:002013-09-01T13:03:46.641-04:00It's Sunday again...It's the beginning of September. Where did the months go? I am very partial to September for several reasons. 1. September is my birthday month; 2. the weather begins to cool off; 3. the leaves begin to change and 4. we begin our descent into fall. I am a fall girl in every sense of the word.<br />
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I love Sunday and I sit here today musing at the fact that it is Labor Day and I'm excited. I have a day off! So what are my plans for my day off? NOTHING! <br />
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I am going to catch up on my blogging, vlogs on youtube, work on my natural hair, go through clothes, write a few review and spend time in meditation.<br />
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This morning I baked biscuits! Breads and sweets are my kryptonite. I love hot, fresh bread with good butter. I love fresh baked cakes, pies and cookies. It is a treat when I make home made goodies and I no longer overindulge but it is a meditative state for me and I need the nourishment from the act of baking as well as the act of eating today.<br />
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Hang on...as we begin our slide into fall!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-78660565681968793602013-04-07T10:09:00.000-04:002013-04-07T10:09:07.069-04:00Twelve Steps..one step at a timePLEASE NOTE: This post was drafted in September 2012. Things have really changed since then.<br />
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I've been in some form of 12 step program for four years. CODA, ACA and Al-Anon. I've worked the program. I've read the literature. These programs have helped me tremendously.<br />
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For the past two weeks, I've been assessing things. Let's rehash my two weeks:<br />
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I sat in my space at work and thought - I'm sandwiched between two little boys. They yell, they have rubber band fights, they throw rubber balls, they toss pens into the ceiling tiles and I'm tired. I am responsible for every single legal document that leaves our office and I need to concentrate. I was getting ready to send my Manager an email to ask for this office. This office has been vacant five years. Occasionally, someone will sit in it for a few hours (offsite staff) and we had an auditor use for a day four years ago. As fate would have it...I chickened out and didn't ask. <br />
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Monday I arrive to work to find my space flooded from a tenant leak. I figured...okay God..what is it you are trying to say? I presented my case and got the office or so I thought. <br />
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I ended up having to move back to my old space. I got a rather disturbing email from my Manager and I went into a spin. I was hurt, offended and angry.<br />
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I wanted to cry! I wanted to quit but I attended 12 step meetings and asked God what he was trying to tell me. The answer didn't come quickly but over a course several weeks - I realized it was time for me to move on.<br />
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Change...that is a hard topic with difficult ramifications. I hate change. I'm a Virgo - I need and crave stability. Even if it is bad stability...I need it. My previous relationship, my previous job (for that matter every job I have ever had) - I stayed much longer than I should have and needed to.<br />
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Last Christmas, I took off two weeks and stayed home with my fiance. We had a blast. I returned to work and the situation was still the same. I tried changing my approach, I let things go but I was still miserable. I had been in communication with a recruiter and I called her and within two weeks I interviewed. I had two interviews in one week and then a meeting with the Managing Director. I thought - how neat is this. The Managing Director wants to talk to me. We had a great conversation and before I returned to my office, I had a job offer. I talked it over and took it. Then...I had to put in my notice. While I knew it was time for me leave - I was a nervous wreck. Why? This job, was familiar and I had feelings of over commitment. <br />
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As with most things, I held off and held off and finally, a power stronger than me, propelled me into my Manager's office and I delivered my two weeks notice. The words flowed effortlessly and I didn't feel anything other than relief. <br />
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That was over three months ago! I am in a new industry, doing new things, meeting new people and loving my job, my colleagues and my life.<br />
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A little letting go...is all you need.<br />
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What's holding you back?Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-91390051696779805382013-04-07T10:00:00.001-04:002013-04-07T10:00:48.243-04:00A Sunday Kind of LoveSunday is my favorite day of the week. I know that sounds odd as it is
the start of the week and most of the world is faced with the sadness
that tomorrow is the start of the work week and that we are leaving the
weekend behind. <br /><br />For some odd reason, I woke up with a sense of
accomplishment and renewal today. I went through my closet (again) and
pulled together items to freecycle and bless someone else with and items
to sell on eBay. As I lose weight...I am blessed to be able to benefit
in more ways than one - releasing the weight and blessing someone with
my things that are too big for me.<br /><br />I have also noted that I am
doing something I hated. NESTING. When I moved in with my fiance - I
didn't know how to nest. I was accustomed to living and working with
what I had, what was given to me or what I was told to get/do. He gave
me free reign over this house and I've been here a little over two
years. I've been here with chipped plates, things that I didn't like,
things that were here when I showed up, etc. I started giving away
things and somethings just throwing away. I found dishes and glasses
and washcloths. We were using washcloths from hotels that he/I had
pilfered during our travels. Funny hunh?<br /><br />I went through the bathroom closet and got rid of half full bottles of stuff I didn't use and my cosmetics are next. This clutter - these things that get pushed to the back, these things that no longer serve me...why do I still have them?<br /><br />As
I headed downstairs for my morning coffee...I packed some items up to
be returned and spied my engagement ring. Laying on a box that was on
the floor. The first thing that came to mind was appreciation. I have
taken a gorgeous ring and have placed it on top of box of clothes I no
longer want and have packaged up to send to my Mom and it's on the
floor. I also noticed how I always tell people "I don't really like
jewelry." I just shook my head. I am changing that thought right now. Last weekend, my fiance and I went to the jeweler and had my charms put on my bracelet. The jeweler asked me how I wanted my charms secured to the bracelet. As he told me the various ways and the preferred way - I told him not to worry about soldering the jump rings and that I probably wouldn't wear the bracelet more than a few weeks and then toss it in my jewelry box. He laughed and added them. Later on that night, one of the charms fell off. It was one from my previous relationship. This charm was from Provincetown, MA and I realized - I no longer needed that charm. It signified a time in my life that was over. I released it from my charm bracelet and lovingly placed it in a box. In time...I will sell it. This gives rise to why do we (I) hold onto things that no longer serve me. Quite a recurring them in my life...<br /><br />These
little things are thieves. I am aware of the thieves in my life -
spending too much time on the computer, not getting out of the house on a
beautiful day to just look at the messages my Higher Power is giving
me, excuses, narrow-mindedness and words that I don't mean (just
yesterday, I saw a beautiful bathroom set - the cup and a holder - they
were made of heavy glass and the colors of our Master Bathroom and as I
admired them - the sales associate made a comment about them and I said
(without thinking) "Oh these are nice BUT my fiance would break them."
After I said it...I shook my head...where did that come from. ::sigh::
a thief!<br /><br />So I am grateful for:<br /><br />realization - again<br />the power within<br />a beautiful Sunday morning<br />my engagement ring<br />my fiance<br />being able to give <br />the delicious pound cake I made for my ladies lunch today<br />fresh strawberries<br />safe travels for my fiance<br />a great cup of coffee<br />for the many ways of communication between my fiance and I<br />smiles and lots of love<br />wisdom<br />knowing that my Higher Power speaks to me through various channels<br />trusting and knowing that all is well<br />letting go<br /><br /><br />I am:<br /><br />letting go/releasing all things that do not serve me<br />wealthy and prosperous in all my affairs<br />communicating my ideas and thoughts <br />joy personified<br />loving<br /><br />I choose:<br /><br />to see the good in everyone<br />to not judge<br />to allow others to travel their own path<br />to meditate twice a day<br />to create loving and healthy meals<br />to live my dreams<br />to see things through<br />to realize that my life is magnificent<br />to be worry free<br />to let my Higher Power direct my life <br />
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Until next Sunday...be well...be blessed and BE love!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-23839688146396644942013-04-01T23:19:00.000-04:002013-04-01T23:19:25.919-04:00Busy...we are all busyI wish I had more time to blog...I work feverishly in my journal but I need to at least check in once a week here.<br />
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We are all busy - I pulled a one pager from Souper Jenny years ago and it said "stop saying you are busy. We are all busy." I thought that was neat.<br />
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I do need to blog because my life has been amazing...I quit my job, found a new job, am in school, spent a week at home creating, a week in Germany and...got engaged.<br />
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I'm beaming...I am so happy. I'm doing my best to not get overwhelmed with wedding plans.<br />
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Bear with me...I'm bound to spend time talking about my up and coming nuptials!<br />
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For now...bright blessings!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-18144619658618162042012-09-15T12:28:00.002-04:002012-09-15T12:28:55.459-04:00Birthday!!!Tomorrow marks my 47th birthday! WOW! I don't feel 47 but then again, how is 47 "supposed" to feel?<br />
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A week ago, I developed a debillating migraine. Yes, migraine...not headaches. I've had a few headaches in my life time but what happened to me last week made me take notice. By Sunday, I couldn't see straight so I went to have it checked out ONLY after reading the metaphysical meaning behind migraines. Long story short, I was NOT trusting the Universe/my Higher Power to take care of me. That certainly fit the bill. I found my meditations and my meds and finally got rid of it the migraine.<br />
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So...I made no plans for my birthday. The repeated request from my beloved of "what do you want for your birthday?" "what do you want to do for your birthday?" I have no idea what I want and I do not want to aggravate my head by spending time at altitude flying BUT I have the wisdom to not be selfish and do something like prepare a meal. I am giving myself the best gift ever...TIME! I plan to allow myself to be treated like the Goddess/Queen I am and the one my beloved recognizes I am everyday.<br />
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So...I'm off to begin my birthday celebration!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-2504996203961379382012-08-26T15:23:00.003-04:002012-08-26T15:40:42.108-04:00Do what you love...As I am sitting here watching Julie & Julia...the passion in this movie excites and ignites me like nothing else. So often we go through the motions and never have or feel any passion.<br />
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No matter your path...no matter what you like...no matter what you do...pour yourself into it. LIVE! FEEL! BE!!!!<br />
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I cook and I'm a great cook...a new friend of mine heard about my business venture and bought me a Julia Child cookbook. I have to admit that initially I wasn't interested. My friend is a fabulous cook. When we retreat to her (and her husband's) house in the NC mountains, we are treated with homemade bagels, brownies so rich they melt in your mouth, roasted and succulent meats and the most heavenly pastries ever - always coupled with a cup of coffee. She advised me to watch Julia and Julie - I looked for it in Redbox but didn't see it and my local Blockbuster has closed. Last night as I was surfing the television channels - I groaned as the movie had 10 minutes left. I checked for more show times and found another showing. I am taping it so I can watch it again and again.<br />
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When I received Julia's massive cook book in the mail - I could think of several other cookbooks I'd rather have. I took the book to bed with me and read it. In that brief time, I remembered watching Julia Child on Public Television with my Mother. I remembered Julia's accent, I remembered my Mother flipping food (successfully for the most part) out of a pan and some of the recipes she made and I turned my nose up at them. <br />
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As I read - a brand new world opened up to me. I had severely dated Julia Child to the 70s. Aspic...really who eats it and why? Yes, there are several things in her book that I would never make BUT without a doubt, Mrs. Child was ahead of her time. She was passionate and efficient...the things that I seek.<br />
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Her cookbook was a lesson in passion for me...for my business and for my life...<br />
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For years I watched passionate people being passionate about everything from running to sports to music...but where was my passion? Quite simply, it had been murdered. By me and by anyone I'd let get close to my passion. <br />
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I made a pledge that I would go wholeheartedly into every task I could and would undertake...it's time consuming. Sometimes I get frustrated and angry. Sometimes I hate it and want to run away or blame someone else...anyone else. <br />
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When I passionately move forward things go better and go faster. Things look better and I develop more confidence to take on more things.<br />
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Never in a million years would I have tackled the projects I tackled - I painted my downstairs, I am organized, I took a class on organization and in one short month...I'm amazing. I made a bow for my new front door wreath. I bought cushions for my wicker chairs and didn't care if the colors weren't appropriate for fall...I liked them. I bought a pair of purple suede pumps...how's that for passion? I lost 35 pounds and am still losing. <br />
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What you love, being passionate and doing it - only need you and your time. I promise you - the journey to passion is easy once you take the first step. Ask yourself what it is that you love...then do it.<br />
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That is all there is to it..<br />
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Namaste!<br />
<br />Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-53766377463468234652012-07-05T09:30:00.001-04:002012-07-05T09:30:18.224-04:00Independence DayI hope everyone had a wonderful 4th! I also hope everyone spent some time reflecting on what Independence day means. July 4th holds a special place in my heart for several reasons. It was 12 years ago on July 4th that I locked my hair. Even then I mused how symbolic is that? I always viewed dreadlocks as a symbol of freedom (most people view it as a symbol of rebellion). That was such a liberating day when I decided to loced my hair. <br />
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I never viewed myself as a patriotic person. July 4th was nothing more than a day off for me. A day to rest and sleep. That vision changed several years ago when I became keenly aware of what the United States Military does for us. I worked for a company that "dedicated" a space to some Veterans and spending time with them really shook my belief to the core. I had a new found respect for our service men and women and I have an even deeper respect for them now.<br />
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Fast forward to Independence Day 2012 - I made the decision to free myself. I live in the land of the free and the home of the brave and I am far from free and brave. I have created a jail cell within my mind. My error thoughts hold me in captivity. My wrong thinking, my fears, my concerns about what people think...all hold me captive. Outwardly, I normally don't care what people think about me but internally I twist, shake, churn and worry. The behavior isn't worth it. The feelings and emotions aren't worth it. I decided that I would shake off the learned behaviors that do not serve me. In essence, I decided to free myself. To claim MY independence from everyone and everything.<br />
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My journey has been a slow one with many setbacks but I've never been in a better place. All my friends marvel at my growth (even though I don't see it). I'm making my own decisions and mistakes and it's okay. I have always loved people where they are but now it's amazing. I am free enough and secure enough to allow people to make their own decisions and think their own thoughts...now...that's independence.<br />
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Be kind to yourself today...and do whatever you need to do in order to be truly free!<br />
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Lots of love!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-15582531424719955992012-06-19T22:07:00.002-04:002012-06-19T22:07:22.328-04:00Welcome Steven and RuAwwwww! I have three followers and I am extremely happy and grateful that you decided to come along for the ride.<br />
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Welcome!!!!!<br />
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<br /><img height="240" id="il_fi" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGxOgE1wjm9BSjeAV_9rrk5EZiYC00b0qG7pPDuN8X0CHzk1UAqopD_aXHC-u44Is7TGhoRwHOcMADJt27lHUT2zecfMpMRzo75RxXoWfiO5k5JnhjSvdtnkUZ4ggjUZom86kforVzPJU/s320/open-door.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="240" /></div>Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-42925495220177189962012-06-19T16:58:00.001-04:002012-06-19T16:58:32.395-04:00Today's LessonMy Mini Cooper is sick…the transmission is falling apart (exact words of the service manager). Fortunately, I purchased an extended warranty and she’s covered. The transmission is $5,000 and with labor it will run approximately $8,000. I have to admit that I was nervous about the warranty. What if I read it wrong? What if this part isn’t covered? What if I can’t get it fixed? This is the chatter of the monkey mind that I mentioned (if thoughts are things) yesterday. I called the dealership where I purchased the car and they told me that I had to take my car to a Mini/BMW dealership because they don’t repair them. My mind leaped into all possibilities. What if, How come…etc. The service manager gave me the warranty number and I called the Mini dealership. They said they were busy, there was no way they could service my Mini and I would have to make an appointment for another day. I said okay and hung up. Told my significant other and he drove the car to the dealership and lo and behold my Donald Shimoda got them to take the car AND give us a loaner. I was speechless. This bought a new awareness to me… “Donald” is a manifester. <br />
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While he doesn’t “believe” in the LOA or is not “into metaphysics” he’s a natural with this. So I began to analyze (cause that’s what this Virgo does) and so many things came to mind. I believe the worst will happen. While “Donald” believes that as well..I love his thought pattern “he say prepare for the worst but expect the best” and he often asks me “what’s the worst that can happen?” and he plans from that point to the best. Reaching the best scenario – he dwells on it. He also doesn’t let anything stick to him. He “appears” to never worry. Why should he? “Donald” has me to do the worrying! His concept lets me see that the worst that can happen isn’t as bad you think it is. For instance, I don’t ride roller coasters. Why you may ask? I’ll be the one in the car that flies off the track and I’ll die. “Donald” says “how many times has that happened? Why do you think it will happen to you? Do you really believe that you are that special? Out of 20 roller coaster cars YOURS will derail and fly off the track? How realistic is that?” “Donald asks. I stand there feeling silly, laughing nervously and calculating that it will still happen (this is what I spoke of yesterday – thoughts become things…I am always thinking the worse – what if I cross the street here, I’ll get hit…these things NEVER come anywhere near fruition – thank God!).<br />
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I, on the other hand, plan for the worse and stay there. Now this is a powerful belief system for me. As the response was this morning: a belief is a thought that you think over and over AND I admit, I never viewed it that way but I like that idea. My beliefs are not my beliefs. They are my Mother’s beliefs – I just latched onto them or acquired them over time. This fear has been programmed and I allowed it. This is code within me. My life coach encouraged me to take a look at my beliefs and those that did not serve me or no longer served me needed to be eliminated. This goes back to comfort zone. Oh but it is so glorious to think these thoughts…I have always thought them and it is so familiar. As my 12 step program says “If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got, and you'll always feel what you always felt.” I’m tired of feeling this way yet I gravitate to the same feelings AGAIN.<br />
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So today…I have taken the time to sit in each “odd” feeling and see where it comes from. BTW, I am surprisingly calm right now. As each feeling/emotion came to the surface, I asked why? Most of it was inherent, inane imaginings. As I mentioned, my Mother was/is in a constant state of fear. I know a lot comes from her. As each situation presented itself, instead of allowing fear to rule, I asked a series of questions: Where did “you” come from? What is “your” purpose? What is it “you” want? What, if anything, are “you” attempting to teach me or to prove? Some answers came immediately – others lingered, went away and then came back. This process is time consuming but it kept my mind engaged in the present – not the murky fearful mistakes of the past and not the uncertain fears of the future. Today’s Daily OM was great confirmation for me!<br />
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All day I have been trying to visualize and reach for the next best feeling and nothing worked. I know LOA is like everything else in our lives – we have to see what fits/resonates with us. Trial and error isn’t a bad thing. I didn’t have the luxury of making mistakes growing up or in my adult life so this is an interesting concept to be able to say “this doesn’t work for me and I am not going to try and make it work. I shall move on to something else.” I always viewed that behavior as failure.<br />
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I am having a blast learning today. Thanks all for allowing me to discover, learn and share!<br />
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I am a member of several Yahoo groups and when one member posts something she almost always says "if it resonates with you use it..if not let it go." This was MAJOR for me. I grew up with a mindset that if it is here in front of you - it's for you. Spirit put it here and it is a sin not to take it and use it. This resulted in being inundated with information, information overload and chronic forgetfulness. Who wouldn't forget when you have so much stored? Especially items stored that aren't for your use or edification - just useless stuff stored for party/game trivia or for the appearance of being a know-it-all (and yes...that is what I wanted). <br />
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I love being able to sign up for a blog, for information, and when it doesn't speak to me, I don't feel "obligated" to continue receiving or reading it. Very liberating for me. <br />
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The mistake "thing" flows over at work. I have four people I deal with (heavily) and they all have four very different opinions and motives. I will give them something to review and all four will have four different comments. Initially, when I saw the mark ups I felt inadequate. No, I didn't ask myself why but I suspect it was an expectation, which my "Donald" says "expectations are resentments waiting to happen." I expected myself to know what each person wanted to say or how they wanted to say it. I expected that the document was perfect with no mistakes. I expected that I knew better than my other colleagues. I treated these mark ups as personal attacks and this belief kept me bound. I'd be sick to my stomach when I submitted items to the team - just knowing they would rip it apart. Some of the comments are "controlling" and I just laugh them off. Sometimes they comment to get "back" at each other. It has become a game to me and it is humorous to see adults behaving this way. <br />
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I always preached this to my daughter "you are not a failure if you learn something from the experience." It's easier to say it than to believe it. I obviously didn't believe it or worse...I never learned from failure of mistakes. I kept pounding my head against a brick wall. "Ouch that hurts" or as "Donald" says "if it hurts when you move your arm like that...stop moving your arm like that."<br />
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Pretty simple stuff, hunh?<br />
<br />Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-61865046906792135732012-06-17T15:33:00.002-04:002012-09-12T16:59:32.316-04:00Meditative and Mindful Baking<br />
Many people have written about baking bread as meditation. Just google it and lots of things will come up - from cookbooks to blogs.<br />
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I admit that I am not a baker. I love baked goods but I can't bake. Years ago I realized my baking skills were lacking due to a lack of patience. I am the baker that opens the oven door, that stands there tapping her feet, sneaking small pieces of bread, cake, brownies, cookies, rolls well before they are done. I end up tossing the whole lot because they weren't good enough. Well...that says something about me and my need for perfection.<br />
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I recently began honoring and loving myself on a level deeper than surface love (looking good, buying expensive products and items). I have always meditated but now I do it with ease and peace because I love myself and I need to take care of me.<br />
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This self love and self care spills over to the meals I create as well as my baking skills. I spent yesterday relaxing and making sticky buns for my beloved. Today I created pumpernickel bread - an homage to the man I love. The deliberate measuring of ingredients, the proper placement, the clean up, the patience, the love and the simplicity all put me such a peaceful state of mind.<br />
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I used this recipe and it was a breeze: <a href="http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pumpernickel-Rye-Bread/Detail.aspx">http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pumpernickel-Rye-Bread/Detail.aspx</a>. I used my bread machine and all I had to do was set and forget it.<br />
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Look at the finished product...it tastes as good as it looks. I have to pick my beloved friend up from the airport and I shall make his favorite sandwich using this fresh baked bread. What a treat to the mind, body and spirit.<br />
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Who says baking can't add a dimension to your meditation?<br />
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Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-42443349333266962102012-06-17T12:12:00.003-04:002012-09-12T17:00:26.924-04:00Sunday Musings<div id="yui_3_2_0_17_133994781632543">
<span id="yui_3_2_0_17_133994781632555">Good morning all!</span></div>
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<span id="yui_3_2_0_17_133994781632565">Sunday is my favorite day of the week. It's something sacred and wonderful about Sunday and I am not sure why but it just my favorite day. I can remember running around the house as a child (and as an adult) to get ready for church (which was never a favorite for me - it was always a production). My Mother would put my Father's clothes out for him, inspect what I had on, make breakfast, clean up, get dressed, do hair and make a mad dash to the car for an hour and a half worth of "preaching." Sunday is the day before Monday and Monday means back to work for most of us so why would this be my favorite day? I have no clue.</span></div>
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This Sunday stands out for me because it is Father's day. My Father has been in spirit form for 17 years yet it seems just like yesterday to me. My Father is a truly wonderful, gentle man (and yes I used present tense because he is always with me) and I love him. So, Dad, wherever your Spirit form is - I love you and miss you! Happy Father's Day to my Father! And a very Happy Father's Day to all the Fathers out there. Don't underestimate your worth and power. If your children don't tell you they love you for awhile or if they utter that dreadful "I hate you" - keep loving them...they need you and you need them.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WFQVgyNNE0">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WFQVgyNNE0</a> I just LOVE this version. I adore Lionel Ritchie! Even though this song is about leaving - it is just so peaceful and beautiful. This man's voice is amazing. Here is a longer version (although not the version with Wille Nelson) - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waV741V1MHY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waV741V1MHY</a><br />
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Perhaps I love Sunday because biblical it is the day of rest and I honor that and myself. Sunday is often a day of reflection for me - how did my week go, what does my upcoming week look like, what did I accomplish, what lessons did I learn?<br />
<br />During my adult years, Sundays have always had a nice, slow and relaxing routine for me. I make sure that there is absolutely NOTHING I have to do on Sunday. When my Daughter was an infant, Sunday morning was grocery store shopping. I'd get her dressed we'd head to the grocery store. That was my peace, my meditation and my time to connect to with her. I always feel like Sunday is the ultimate relaxation day because everything mandatory has been done. Sunday - is about me!
I can bake (which is what I am doing now), meditate, walk, relax, sleep late, sip coffee on the porch and rejuvenate.<br />
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I do believe in God but I don't frequently go to church, but I spent everyday in some form of worship - I don't have to set aside one day to praise, pray or recognize my Higher Power.<br />
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For the most part, I am alone. My best friend in the entire world is home about once a month, so my routines are not set in stone - sometimes we attend church, sometimes we walk, sometimes I walk, sometimes I stay in bed all day, sometime we go to brunch, you get it.<br />
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I try to focus on my fledgling blog on Sunday too. I have a chance to catch-up on any blogs I didn't have time to read earlier in
the week and to just surf the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Internet</span>. This is the ultimate indulgence! <br /><br />I am going to grab another cup of coffee and finish the pumpernickel bread and sit quietly with my thoughts until I feel the urge to do something else.<br /><br />I leave you with this...The Secret of Life is enjoying the passage of time." - Enjoy your Sunday!<br />
<br />Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-58225975231045550912012-06-16T10:48:00.002-04:002012-09-12T17:02:35.227-04:00Self Care<span id="yui_3_2_0_21_133985660102355">I spent last night nourishing my inner Diva and watching chick flicks. I wanted to...no needed to feel girly, sexy, seductive, glamorous and pampered. I believe in pampering. I believe in taking care of myself but I notice that I neglect the most important part of me - the spiritual part. </span><br />
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It has become so easy to allow myself to get bogged down in the unglamorous day to day that I not only appear frumpy, I feel frumpy. Is this because we look to the external to make us feel a certain way? In the immortal words of Billy Crystal (portraying Fernando Lamas) "It is better to look good than to feel good." If you are too young to remember this SNL skit - look it up on Hulu or YouTube - it's hilarious. To a certain extent I do believe that looking our best helps us feel our best. It's just that we have taken this concept too far. We doll up the outside and have an inside that looks like a monster and we feel that is okay. We think we can fake it. Yes, most of us do fake it, but there are enlightened beings that realize - I look marvelous yet I feel awful. I was that person and if not careful I can still be that person. Life does NOT have to be unglamorous. You should feel and be glamorous whether you are baking sticky buns, having a mani and pedi, sipping coffee or knee deep in the hoopla of the day. Glamour comes from within. It has nothing to do with what you have on or whether your makeup is impeccable. It has everything to do with how you feel!<br />
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I have worn the most expensive of items, have purchased the top of the line of everything and I kept purchasing. I was looking for the next best feeling. I always managed to find it but I always kept looking for bigger, better, faster...this quest became endless and I was still empty.<br />
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Recently (within the past two years), my focus and reality shifted. I pared down the physical - lost weight. I donated, sold, freecycled many of my possessions and started paying attention to what the hungry spiritual part of me needed (not wanted) and things fell into place.<br />
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The key is REMEMBERING! Remember who you are. Remember your purpose. Remember why you are here. Remember to nourish your body, mind and soul. Remember that your outward appearance is not who you are. Remember to allow the beautiful, magnificent inner light to shine for all to see. Regardless of what you have been through, what you have or have not done or what others have told you...let that light of beauty shine.<br />
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Do whatever it takes to nourish your inner Diva - take time for you. I recommend morning and evening long, slow and relaxing meditations and short meditations throughout your day. This keeps the glamour going.<br />
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Try this one on for size, my beautiful spirited friends:<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D56tUOdpgts">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D56tUOdpgts</a><br />
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<br />Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-22404144758470118962012-06-16T10:28:00.001-04:002012-09-12T17:02:58.018-04:00ControlI am a member of several yahoo groups and one of my favorites is the group on the Law of Attraction. We are a fun group of great people that encourage each other. Today's message (that was sent to the Group) was A Secret Scrolls message from Rhonda Byrne, Creator of The Secret. Here it is:<br />
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From The Secret Daily Teachings <br />
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Isn't it great to know that you cannot control your world from the outside? To try and control things on the outside feels impossible because it would take so much work, and in fact it is impossible according to the law of attraction.<br />
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To change your world all you have to do is manage your thoughts and feelings on the inside of you, and then your whole world changes.<br />
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May the joy be with you,<br />
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Rhonda Byrne<br />
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This is another good one. Control! I am a self confessed control freak. Even amidst the chaos and fear - I fearlessly try to control EVERYTHING!<br />
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I hate not being in control yet I am smart enough to know that control is an illusion. Okay already. <br />
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I am a control freak - in the worst sense. I am addicted to control. This is yet another facet of growing up in an alcoholic home. You can't control anything so you try to control everything. I am especially good at controlling things I cannot control. The lives of others, the emotions of others, the desires of others, the amount of time I'm given, what people think of me and the list goes on. I try and control...control.<br />
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Once I had the opportunity to sit back and really look at things, I knew I had to relinquish control. No, I haven't totally mastered this but I am trying.<br />
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What is your addiction of choice? We all have them - be it control, fear, eating, shopping, worry...<br />
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Take some time today to get to know you and how you "attempt" to control your life or the lives of others.<br />
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Namaste!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-77759597416494254902012-06-04T22:12:00.001-04:002012-09-12T17:03:36.701-04:00Know it all<br />
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 11pt;">For years I’ve lived in the shadow of needing to know. I had to know everything about everybody. I had to know everything about every subject. As you can imagine, I was exhausted. I needed to know every nuance, every minute detail, every piece of information must come through me or be known by me. Woe unto me for not knowing something. If I didn’t know something this meant two things: 1. A surprise attack – someone could spring something on me without my knowledge and 2. I was inadequate. I spent the need to know years in turmoil and in fear of being found out. Not being smart enough. Not knowing enough.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 11pt;">Number 1 taught me a very valuable lesson. I worked for a major corporation for over seven years. I was good at my job but wasn’t “popular”. I was pleasant to work with, friendly and fun and I always got the job done. I attended the company functions and knew all the employees at our location. I was well liked by many and I played the corporate game. There was one gentleman, Dave Ullman, who didn’t care for me. He thought I wasn’t qualified for the position I held and he felt I had too much authority. My manager, the VP, traveled frequently and relied on me to keep our office going. My position, at one time, was held by Dave, before he left the company. My VP and I talked several times during the day and he trusted me. He had every right to trust me. I worked my way up from receptionist to this position. I made lateral moves and upward moves making sure to never burn bridges. I was happy. I knew my job and I was good at it.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 11pt;">I cannot begin to express the devastation I experienced one Friday as I sat in my office and Dave came in, shut the door and announced that I was being laid off. I was in shock! I didn’t see that coming. I felt betrayed, I felt slighted, I felt this decision had been made in an unethical and unfair manner and I was hurt. I was a single parent of a six year old what was I going to do? She depended on me. How would I manage? How could you do this to me. I was young and resilient. While I didn't like the decision or understand the decision - I didn't stay down for long. I spent a long time questioning why I was laid off. I spent a long time wondering about the fairness of life.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 11pt;">Let me assure you that the months ahead were fantastic. I accomplished more in the time I was laid off than I had ever done and I seemed to have more money than imaginable. I reflect back on that time and can smile. My nephew (who was married to my middle niece) and I were good friends and when I confided in him, he stood up, looked me in the eyes and said “For Chrissake, how many clues did you need that it was time for you to move on?” I sat there stunned. A man, five years younger than me, who had no belief system spoke words of truth. I still play those exact words to this day.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 11pt;">There have been many layoffs (especially in my field) and I can’t say that I don't feel pain when it happens because I do. I can't say that I always handle the situation well. I would love to say that I instinctively know that I will be okay but I don’t. It takes time for me wrap my head around it. There have always been fields of opportunity for me after layoffs, there has always been great growth and joy but as with anything – it is hard to see when you are in the midst of it all. I have learned that there is always a blessing in everything – regardless of what it looks like or what you think. There is always a bright side.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f497d; font-size: 11pt;">Are you faced with a “layoff”? It doesn’t have to be employment. It can be any situation of familiarity that is changing. How is your current belief serving you during this layoff? Most of the time our current belief system does not hold us. That’s okay. We tend to like tried and true and safe. Sometimes we have to break out of the ordinary in order for the extraordinary to manifest. Take a couple of deep breaths and then trust the process. Trust yourself and trust that your Higher Power is working it out – because He is. No doubt about that!</span></div>
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Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-64145298149057957822012-06-03T21:49:00.001-04:002012-09-12T17:04:50.156-04:00FearOh my! FEAR! This is something I am intimately familiar with. Many years ago, I enlisted the helpful of a wonderful life coach, Vedam Clementi. I have known Vedam for years. We used to attend his meditation center and services. I was seeing a traditional counselor and just felt like I needed more (whatever that meant). I talked to Vedam and made my appointment. He had a questionnaire I needed to complete and I meticulously took my time to ensure I had all the "right" answers - after all, I didn't want him to think I was crazy! I answered the last question this way "I am afraid of almost everything." As we talked he said "This is a good answer" and he pointed out that there are no absolutes. I wasn't afraid of EVERYTHING. I laughed at how Source/Spirit/God pulled this out of me even when I was trying to be "correct."<br />
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I've battled fear my entire life - afraid of butterflies, afraid of thunderstorms, afraid of lightening, afraid of the dark, afraid of ghosts, afraid of authority, afraid of too much sun, afraid of big trucks, afraid of people, afraid of what if, afraid of being wrong, afraid of being right...you get it. I carried this with me into adulthood and developed even more fears. Even with all these fears I still managed to function. As I look back in retrospect - that is all I was doing...functioning. I possessed no joy, no passion, no love, no desire...nothing. I was the walking wounded..the walking dead. All I could feel was fear.<br />
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My fear involved more than just physical fear - it was emotional (fear of commitment, fear of feeling, fear of loving), spiritual (fear that God would punish me, fear that God's wrath would encompass me and punish me for something I did or didn't do), mentally (fear of illness, fear of remembering, fear of forgetting). I was paralyzed...now I functioned but it was all driven by fear.<br />
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I never really tried to figure out why I was so afraid until recently. I started looking back at family and trying to analyze - my Mother who portrayed herself as a strong woman, my Father who was passive and kind, my Grandmother who had NO fear and my Grandfather who was strong and silent. <br />
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Many people say we chose our experiences and I wonder why I chose fear. I plan on delving into figuring out why so much fear.<br />
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My Mother seems to be the most motivating thing I can come up with as far as wanting to know who I am. I always viewed my Mother as strong. She always appeared to take control and move forward. It wasn't until several years ago that I realized her motivation was fear. She was afraid if she didn't do it - it wouldn't get done. She was afraid of what others thought. Clearly - she was frightened. Last year my friend and I were having dinner with my Mother and I proudly announced that my Mother had a minor in French. I am sure you are thinking "so what?" Well, my Mother is 85! What black woman had a minor in French back then? My best friend stopped in his tracks and said "so, what happened?" I sat there dazed and my Mother made an excuse. He then responded "Ma'am, no one minors in French and doesn't want to travel and explore the world." My Mother stammered and I wondered. What did my Mother really want to do? What stopped her? What happened? My guess is a case of the fears. It opened a whole new world to me. I have yet to ask her what this is about but I surmise, my Mother is like me. She will say that the minor was just something to do or that she doesn't know why or she may chose to ignore me - as she often does when the questions become to hard for her handle.<br />
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Fear is also one of my addictions and we will explore that in the coming weeks.Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-81351362206606356262012-06-03T21:18:00.001-04:002012-09-12T17:07:18.517-04:00AddictionIn this journey of self discovery, I am learning to not place as many labels on things as I used too. I was and am good at labeling. Matter of fact, it used to be a game for me. As I was labeling other people, I was ignoring my own labels and issues. As always, it is easier to point out the speck in someone else's eye and not notice the beam in yours.<br />
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As I continue to travel and assess myself, I am not always happy with what I see in myself but at least I see it.<br />
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I was invited to attend a military ball. This was going to be my first ball and I wanted things to be perfect (okay...mistake 1). I found the "perfect" dress. I found the "perfect" shoes ($400 shoes that I scored for $100). The dress arrived and I tried it on. There was a split in the front that hit the upper part of my thigh. I had a meltdown. I called the seller and in a nasty tone I said "I asked if you this dress had a split and you told me it didn't! I have to attend a ball in a week and I can't wear this dress." The seller apologized and offered to refund me the money. All I could think was "where am I going to find a dress in less than a week." True to form, I tried the dress on and took pictures in it with my leg sticking out (like the infamous Angelina Jolie picture). I called my date to the ball and pulled the ultimate chaos move "I'm NOT going to go!" To which he responded "okay...I'll go, show up and then come back to the room and we can go to dinner." I sat there - shocked and stunned. The best chaotic move I had (and had seen many people use before) didn't work. I got mad. I then complained that I had another dress I could wear but it was matronly. He told me "I don't think that dress looks bad but if you aren't comfortable in it you don't have to go." I hung up and sent the picture to my friends. My friends didn't think it looked bad, one friend said "Heavens, you won't be standing like that. No one will notice." I was still not happy. Another friend suggested alterations. I had one word for that "DUH". Yet I continued to spin and weave chaos. "Alterations never work out. How much will it cost?" and question after question arose. I found a seamstress and drove to the shop. Chaos had so consumed me - it took me 20 minutes to find the shop. I was a bundle of nerves when I walked in. As fate would have it, there was a soldier there and I asked him if he thought the dress was appropriate for a ball and he said "very appropriate and whoever's arm you will be on will be amazed." Those words spoke volumes but moments after I left - chaos returned. What if this man can't make the dress work? I spent many hours in chaos over an alteration that turned out to be affordable and perfect.<br />
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I was then headed to Louisiana. Considering my procrastination, my *need* to get the best price for airfare, I believed and felt that this was a well planned trip. I bought my ticket in advance, packed perfectly and rested well. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. the day of my flight and got ready to head to the airport. I arrived at Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson airport at 5:30 a.m. I waltzed in like I normally do and my mouth dropped. The line for checking in was snaked around the corner. This had never happened to me. I always made it to the airport in time enough to check my bags and the lines were never this long. Immediately, I thought "I'll never make my 7:00 a.m. flight." My next thought as I stood in a line that didn't move until 6:15 was call United and complain. I ran through every scenario in my head. The small still voice inside me realized that if I didn't make the 7:00 a.m. flight nothing would happen. I wasn't going to miss the event if I missed the flight but I was still frustrated. <br />
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Someone at United had a brilliant idea and called the people that had tickets for the 7:00 a.m. flight to the front of the line. I checked in, dashed through security and onto the plane. Took my seat and was off. Interesting...problem solved without my help.<br />
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I arrived in Houston and found coffee as I made my connecting flight. A message came in on my phone from my office. My leasing director looking for something. I went into a spasm - acting as if this was an all out emergency, I behaved as if the world was going to stop. I called his cell phone, he didn't answer, I called his office he didn't answer, I called our admin - told her where the tickets were and then left him a message and sent him a text. I'm on the phone to my significant other explaining to him how much of a train wreck my leasing director was. I was spinning over baseball tickets that were easily accessible.<br />
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I arrived at my destination and had some time to rest. I began to write in my journal...It became apparent to me how I thrived on chaos. This is a typical syndrome for people raised in alcoholic homes. If there is no chaos...I can create it. I realized that this was an addiction. I was addicted to chaos. I created a chaotic situation out of something that was as simple as leaving my leasing director a message. I spun this into an hour long event. The only person spinning or caring about this was me. I talked about it for at least an hour and spent even more time writing in my journal about it.<br />
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This was really eye opening. I began working on getting to the bottom of why *I* created this event. Everything was smooth, all was well. I guess the realization of my office needs me YET they don't need me fueled my addiction. I had explained to everyone and showed them where I kept the tickets. Why did they call me? They called me to help me create the chaos I needed. I looked back on my life at all the chaos I created because I needed it. I found the reason for creating the chaos buried in my childhood. <br />
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My Mother loved chaos and she still loves it. She was also living in expectation - but not a good expectation. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop and guess what...it often did. A simple conversation with her turns chaotic. You can't tell it is chaotic but it is. Mentally there is must confusion. There is triangulation. There is defense and manipulation. All of this creates chaos. Chaos was all I ever knew. This was the only way things got done. Create a diversion of chaos and look busy. Ignore the real problems and issues and focus on the chaotic moment. <br />
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I can now ask myself what can I do to avoid or not create chaos? It's simple. Breathe! Take the time to watch and look at the situation. I can tell within a few seconds if this requires action. I can tell if I am creating chaos - my body betrays me, my mind betrays me. The feeling I have during a chaotic episode zaps me and a few months ago I realized the rapid heartbeat, the flushed skin, the adrenaline pumping was not good for me. I don't have to act. I don't have to respond in that moment. There is an old saying "Don't just do something...sit there!" I know it sounds out but it works. Take the moment to reflect. To check in with yourself - how do you feel? What do you feel? Then proceed with love.<br />
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I would love to tell you that I "get" it all the time but I don't. I have to employ the Watcher and step outside myself and my limited knowledge and trust the process.<br />
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What have I learned from all this? Most importantly - trust the process. There is always a Divine Out and it is always in front of us. We just don't see it. Secondly, I create my own chaos and as easily as I can create it - I can create a better situation that will serve me much better than chaos. I learned that I am NOT my family of origin. I can learn from them, respect them but create my own reality and life. I learned that there is a better way...Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-62521267165729933272012-06-02T19:00:00.002-04:002012-09-12T17:07:37.657-04:00Food for the soul<br />
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I wanted to share something that moved me today. Most of us get to bogged down and worked up in our own dramas that we do not take time to stop, smell the roses, relish the fragrance and begin thinking from a fresh perspective.</div>
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I received an email from a local restaurant today. I do not frequent this place as much as I used to (due to schedule demands and my location) but it has a soft spot in my heart. A great co-worker told me about this place over seven years ago and I have watched this place grow in popularity, size and location. </div>
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The restaurant owner is a phenomena – she is bubbly, fun, exciting, beautiful, loved, daring and just a great person. She places a basket of daily thoughts and affirmations (all printed on vibrant colored paper) at the front of her restaurant. There has not been a single time that I did not walk away with something that “spoke” to me. Most of the times, I depart with a soul warming soup, sandwich/salad, cookie, piece of fruit, drink and tears in my contemplative eyes. I would be exhilarated, I would smile and in that fleeting moment all was well.</div>
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Jenny challenges me to THINK, to meditate and above all to realize that we live in a powerful and friendly universe. Another challenge is to take what we feel in a moment, any given moment, when we feel hope, joy, peace, love and we feel as if we can conquer the world and that all our dreams can and will come true. The final challenge is to bring that feeling into existence ALL the time.</div>
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Going back to the first paragraph, it is so easy to allow ourselves to become downtrodden. To wallow in our sorrows, to allow these feelings to shape us and make us someone that we are not. We must remember – we are all children of a Higher Power/the God of our understanding and that means we are cared for, loved, protected and provided for. We must only believe.</div>
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Jenny is a consummate chef – she feeds and nourishes the body, the mind, the soul and the spirit.</div>
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Namaste!</div>
Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-87088406665176017642012-05-24T09:54:00.002-04:002012-09-12T17:08:34.580-04:00What's in your walletI know we are all familiar with this question. It's all over the Capital One credit card company's commercial. PLEASE NOTE: I am not affiliated with Capital One nor is this an endorsement or sponsorship.<br />
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I often look at my wallet and I hope you do as well. I'm relearning some important things and my lesson has been hard. I hope my blogging can alleviate some of your lessons learned. My wallet is often empty. We have become accustomed to using our debit or credit cards and we very seldom carry cash. My wallet has a myriad of cards, receipts and loose coins. Kind of a tragic end to the wallet.<br />
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I am learning that what's in my wallet is akin to what's in my heart and my mind. I have been a student of metaphysics for many years. Now, it works for me and has always worked for me BUT has it been as effective as I want it to be. The answer to that is no. I use the law of attraction to meet a need and it does BUT I have yet to see that windfall. And this lack of windfall is what has led me to where I am and where this blog is today.<br />
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It has caused me to have a deep introspective look of who I am. Two years ago I went through the ending of a almost 10 year relationship. It was the best thing I could have ever done and I can't believe I hadn't left sooner. I feel so much better about myself, my life and what's going on within me. No more judgement, no more living under someone else's viewpoint of how life should be lived. It wasn't the other person's fault - it was mine for not remembering who I was. That part of my life is dead and buried and I'm grateful for the lessons I learned from it.<br />
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As I walk into the realm of change I have to stop and think. I attend a 12 step program and we often say "if you always do, what you've always done, you'll always get, what you always got." Recently I saw this added to it, "and you'll always feel, like you always felt." POWERFUL! One would think that this was common sense but sometimes something is lost in translation. For me, I tend to stick with what's comfortable. It's not necessarily right for me but it is comfortable (which explains why I stayed in a relationship as long as I did). Comfort isn't always right. :)<br />
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I am using the wallet as a metaphor for what we carry things in. I could easily say "What's in your mind? What's in your heart? What's in your thoughts? What's in your body?" We carry so much "junk" with us and we don't realize it is junk. We view as something that is a part of us. We carry learned behaviors, learned responses, we like what we like because we were told to like it, we don't filter out the junk - we carry the worst within us. I focus on the one negative thing and let it weigh me down. I negate the wonderful things about me and obsess on my lack. <br />
It is time for me to think for myself and the goal of my blog is to get me to the next best feeling, not to worry about things I can't change and to live my life fully. I will pepper my blog with my life experiences, my revelations and my changes. If I can help motivate or uplift someone...it uplifts me.<br />
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I'm glad you joined me and I hope you stay for awhile...Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-30058558672324189312012-05-23T17:47:00.001-04:002012-09-12T17:08:04.988-04:00Muse ChangesInitially, this blog started off one one and now I've changed directions. It's time. There is so much growth here. So much love, so much joy, so much change and so much learning and enlightenment.<br />
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I hope you join me and enjoy my take of the path I am on.<br />
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Namaste!!!Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-11080198885099518292012-02-10T15:17:00.000-05:002012-02-10T15:17:26.562-05:00Larger than LifeI have always been a substantial woman – in presence, in attitude and in beliefs. I grew up with the belief that BIGGER is better. As I age, gracefully I might add, I find that livin’ large isn’t all it has cracked up to be.<br />
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Large homes, large SUVs, large purchases and large consumption is what has run this country and many of us into the ground. Two years ago as I said the most powerful word known to man. This simple word had more impact on my life than anything else I can think of…I said the word “NO”. As 10+ years of relationship came to a screeching halt with that simple word – my life blossomed like never before. <br />
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A friend of mine says “Move a muscle, change a thought” and I did just that. With that word, my world came to a screeching halt (or I thought it did). I moved out of my home with my possessions. And I had possessions!!!! My poor movers just stood there. I moved a HUGE bedroom set, a HUGE sofa and living room, HUGE appliances and a HUGE collection of extremely high end clothes, sheets, gadgets and everything in between from 3,500 sf into 2,300 sf. OH THE HORROR! <br />
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I adore my little home but it took me awhile to find my authentic self and to realize what was important and exactly what I could survive without. As I moved my items into my home, all I could do was laugh. There were boxes and boxes and boxes of memories, fun, sadness and possessions. I laughed so long and so hard that I ended up on a heap on my sofa. Boxes were everywhere. Not only am I a victim of excess, I am also a victim of service. I have always had others to do things for me and now I had the daunting task of unpacking. Oh…the horror!!!! As I made my way through these boxes I chuckled even more. I gave away things, tossed things and had a lot of WTF moments when I asked myself “WTF was I thinking when I bought this”. I mused to my friends that I would write a book and entitle it “My life in boxes”.<br />
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In this resurgence of self I realized many things. My friends asked me why I was so agitated in my new space. I had no idea. Then it descended upon me like a ton of bricks. At 46, I was alone! ALONE!!!! By myself!!! OH THE HORROR!!!!! I went to college, got married, had a child, got divorced and was always in the presence of someone (lover, daughter, etc.) Now I realize I am only responsible for myself. do not have to worry about my daughter. She is an adult and on her own. I don’t have to worry about school districts or cart her or her friends to movies, to school, to practice (and while I miss that – a part of me is relieved). I can live wherever I want to live. OH THE HORROR. This means I have to be responsible for MY actions. I can’t blame you if something goes wrong!!!!!! <br />
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I realized that I had never lived by myself! I live in this lovely home alone (because my SigOt, short for Significant Other) is on a short assignment in another state. This was the first time and the first place where I could be me (whoever that was). This is the first time in my 46 years that I moved into a place and made it MINE. With much encouragement, love and support from my SigOt (“Honey, this is your home, if you want it” he said sweetly) I took off like a spinning top. I moved, I rearranged, I sold, I gave away, I mused, I cried, I pondered, I wondered and I changed. I painted the entire downstairs – the colors I wanted – burlap, yam and I finally had my red (Claret) dining room. As I sat on my sofa, a few nights ago, I heard a small still voice say to me “This is YOUR home” and I cried.<br />
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Because of a bitter ex – I relinquished (not without a fight) my 4WD, 6 cylinder, 15 mpg, beast master Jeep. To think, this was a gift from someone I planned to spend the rest of my life with and she wouldn’t give me the title to the vehicle – instead she demanded it back. My attorney intervened and she went silent. Driving home one night with expired tags, the vehicle was impounded and guess what? I had NO feelings about it. It was no longer a symbol of love. It had become just a car. As I stood in the parking lot of a Big Lots calling cab companies, an Angel appeared and gave me a ride home. My Angel, Kimberly, in her youth, imparted so much to me. I took her words and still hold them close.<br />
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I stand here two years later – wise, smarter, healthier, authentic, happy, blissful, smaller, humble, patient, and glorious. To complete my downsizing – I moved (with much resistance) into a Mini Cooper. I love my little car. I know present to you…My Mini Cooper!!!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi42SpWkKzIwca3ofjUP2GXWqef7us00AXkOPSSuQ76O4dJrLqz2vvYXJkg6uWags-JTKVp793oRoMALBXZ8YHEuPZkeJ9VCtbxHvXiUc8t042lgWSHYahLBH5Z3s6kftL-3Zwdlqy_9jE/s1600/mini1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi42SpWkKzIwca3ofjUP2GXWqef7us00AXkOPSSuQ76O4dJrLqz2vvYXJkg6uWags-JTKVp793oRoMALBXZ8YHEuPZkeJ9VCtbxHvXiUc8t042lgWSHYahLBH5Z3s6kftL-3Zwdlqy_9jE/s320/mini1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR0mfzwvkTKkhyMq2oTUlDaIZUtcJG14Re0CS-ziBlEm7DIUmxmwvJ0leKO-UX46abittZQ2FmmiaRfn2QuwBIzU3LgsfetRC51BjX5sXJterJQERD7eicwvPV0Evl2xc_I5YIY8ODlu4/s1600/Mini2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR0mfzwvkTKkhyMq2oTUlDaIZUtcJG14Re0CS-ziBlEm7DIUmxmwvJ0leKO-UX46abittZQ2FmmiaRfn2QuwBIzU3LgsfetRC51BjX5sXJterJQERD7eicwvPV0Evl2xc_I5YIY8ODlu4/s320/Mini2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3951182010718660506.post-41487239802548884742011-10-14T23:36:00.001-04:002011-10-15T08:19:50.008-04:00Food as Art - especially ChocolateI was headed to pick up lunch yesterday and I spied Cacao in, of all places, Buckhead. OMG! I couldn't wait to head back North on Peachtree Road towards Lenox Mall.<br />
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I love Cacao. I found it years ago, delicately hidden in the Virginia Highlands area. I snuck in during Kristen Hard's (the Owner) grand opening and thought I had died and gone to Artisan Chocolate heaven. I bought at least one of everything she had that day. The Marshmallows were exquisite. The chocolate...listen Muses...this is how chocolate should be. Revered, honored, adored, nibbled and mused over.<br />
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I love chocolate and no matter how good a chocolate is touted to be, my initial response is to scarf it down. This is not the case in the amazing ethereal creations from Cacao. Whoa unto the individual that does not savor every sensual lingering bite of Cacao's creations! <br />
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I stopped in the Buckhead location and was close to tears as the wonderful associate catered to my every need. I was in a hurry to get back to the office (because I had been designated to pick up lunch) but I managed to grab a gorgeous assortment of chocolates. One of them was made with aged Scotch (be still my heart - I grabbed two of them for my sigot). I bought a Cacao and coffee bar emblazoned with bees! Oh how I love bees! I have to admit that I just ate a small square of this creation with a cup of coffee. HEAVEN!!! I also snagged these succulent maraschino cherries. These are NOT your Mother's maraschino cherries. These are deep dark decadence and in a shade of a sexy red (for all of fashionistas and Muses..think Kevyn Aucoin's bloodroses lippie). These cherries will rest gingerly in brandy and used to make a fabulous Manhattan.<br />
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The chocolate purchase...well, I had to fight myself not to eat it at work. I knew Kristen's work and knew it would be a disservice if I ate this creation in a rush. I fought and I fought hard and managed to make it home. I set the scene and mood - a long warm bath scented with basil, candles everywhere and a glass of red wine. I ate two pieces of chocolates as I drifted and drank wine. All is well in my world.<br />
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Please go see Kristen and her beautiful space. You won't regret it. You won't regret the money you spend either. This chocolate is meant to be savored, enjoyed, contemplated and nibble oh so lightly.<br />
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Treat yourself...SOON!!! <span style="color: #009933;"><a href="http://www.cacaoatlanta.com/bio">www.<b>cacao</b>atlanta.com/bio</a></span>Voluptuous Musehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04725451669451424550noreply@blogger.com0