I know we are all familiar with this question. It's all over the Capital One credit card company's commercial. PLEASE NOTE: I am not affiliated with Capital One nor is this an endorsement or sponsorship.
I often look at my wallet and I hope you do as well. I'm relearning some important things and my lesson has been hard. I hope my blogging can alleviate some of your lessons learned. My wallet is often empty. We have become accustomed to using our debit or credit cards and we very seldom carry cash. My wallet has a myriad of cards, receipts and loose coins. Kind of a tragic end to the wallet.
I am learning that what's in my wallet is akin to what's in my heart and my mind. I have been a student of metaphysics for many years. Now, it works for me and has always worked for me BUT has it been as effective as I want it to be. The answer to that is no. I use the law of attraction to meet a need and it does BUT I have yet to see that windfall. And this lack of windfall is what has led me to where I am and where this blog is today.
It has caused me to have a deep introspective look of who I am. Two years ago I went through the ending of a almost 10 year relationship. It was the best thing I could have ever done and I can't believe I hadn't left sooner. I feel so much better about myself, my life and what's going on within me. No more judgement, no more living under someone else's viewpoint of how life should be lived. It wasn't the other person's fault - it was mine for not remembering who I was. That part of my life is dead and buried and I'm grateful for the lessons I learned from it.
As I walk into the realm of change I have to stop and think. I attend a 12 step program and we often say "if you always do, what you've always done, you'll always get, what you always got." Recently I saw this added to it, "and you'll always feel, like you always felt." POWERFUL! One would think that this was common sense but sometimes something is lost in translation. For me, I tend to stick with what's comfortable. It's not necessarily right for me but it is comfortable (which explains why I stayed in a relationship as long as I did). Comfort isn't always right. :)
I am using the wallet as a metaphor for what we carry things in. I could easily say "What's in your mind? What's in your heart? What's in your thoughts? What's in your body?" We carry so much "junk" with us and we don't realize it is junk. We view as something that is a part of us. We carry learned behaviors, learned responses, we like what we like because we were told to like it, we don't filter out the junk - we carry the worst within us. I focus on the one negative thing and let it weigh me down. I negate the wonderful things about me and obsess on my lack.
It is time for me to think for myself and the goal of my blog is to get me to the next best feeling, not to worry about things I can't change and to live my life fully. I will pepper my blog with my life experiences, my revelations and my changes. If I can help motivate or uplift someone...it uplifts me.
I'm glad you joined me and I hope you stay for awhile...
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Muse Changes
Initially, this blog started off one one and now I've changed directions. It's time. There is so much growth here. So much love, so much joy, so much change and so much learning and enlightenment.
I hope you join me and enjoy my take of the path I am on.
Namaste!!!
I hope you join me and enjoy my take of the path I am on.
Namaste!!!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Larger than Life
I have always been a substantial woman – in presence, in attitude and in beliefs. I grew up with the belief that BIGGER is better. As I age, gracefully I might add, I find that livin’ large isn’t all it has cracked up to be.
Large homes, large SUVs, large purchases and large consumption is what has run this country and many of us into the ground. Two years ago as I said the most powerful word known to man. This simple word had more impact on my life than anything else I can think of…I said the word “NO”. As 10+ years of relationship came to a screeching halt with that simple word – my life blossomed like never before.
A friend of mine says “Move a muscle, change a thought” and I did just that. With that word, my world came to a screeching halt (or I thought it did). I moved out of my home with my possessions. And I had possessions!!!! My poor movers just stood there. I moved a HUGE bedroom set, a HUGE sofa and living room, HUGE appliances and a HUGE collection of extremely high end clothes, sheets, gadgets and everything in between from 3,500 sf into 2,300 sf. OH THE HORROR!
I adore my little home but it took me awhile to find my authentic self and to realize what was important and exactly what I could survive without. As I moved my items into my home, all I could do was laugh. There were boxes and boxes and boxes of memories, fun, sadness and possessions. I laughed so long and so hard that I ended up on a heap on my sofa. Boxes were everywhere. Not only am I a victim of excess, I am also a victim of service. I have always had others to do things for me and now I had the daunting task of unpacking. Oh…the horror!!!! As I made my way through these boxes I chuckled even more. I gave away things, tossed things and had a lot of WTF moments when I asked myself “WTF was I thinking when I bought this”. I mused to my friends that I would write a book and entitle it “My life in boxes”.
In this resurgence of self I realized many things. My friends asked me why I was so agitated in my new space. I had no idea. Then it descended upon me like a ton of bricks. At 46, I was alone! ALONE!!!! By myself!!! OH THE HORROR!!!!! I went to college, got married, had a child, got divorced and was always in the presence of someone (lover, daughter, etc.) Now I realize I am only responsible for myself. do not have to worry about my daughter. She is an adult and on her own. I don’t have to worry about school districts or cart her or her friends to movies, to school, to practice (and while I miss that – a part of me is relieved). I can live wherever I want to live. OH THE HORROR. This means I have to be responsible for MY actions. I can’t blame you if something goes wrong!!!!!!
I realized that I had never lived by myself! I live in this lovely home alone (because my SigOt, short for Significant Other) is on a short assignment in another state. This was the first time and the first place where I could be me (whoever that was). This is the first time in my 46 years that I moved into a place and made it MINE. With much encouragement, love and support from my SigOt (“Honey, this is your home, if you want it” he said sweetly) I took off like a spinning top. I moved, I rearranged, I sold, I gave away, I mused, I cried, I pondered, I wondered and I changed. I painted the entire downstairs – the colors I wanted – burlap, yam and I finally had my red (Claret) dining room. As I sat on my sofa, a few nights ago, I heard a small still voice say to me “This is YOUR home” and I cried.
Because of a bitter ex – I relinquished (not without a fight) my 4WD, 6 cylinder, 15 mpg, beast master Jeep. To think, this was a gift from someone I planned to spend the rest of my life with and she wouldn’t give me the title to the vehicle – instead she demanded it back. My attorney intervened and she went silent. Driving home one night with expired tags, the vehicle was impounded and guess what? I had NO feelings about it. It was no longer a symbol of love. It had become just a car. As I stood in the parking lot of a Big Lots calling cab companies, an Angel appeared and gave me a ride home. My Angel, Kimberly, in her youth, imparted so much to me. I took her words and still hold them close.
I stand here two years later – wise, smarter, healthier, authentic, happy, blissful, smaller, humble, patient, and glorious. To complete my downsizing – I moved (with much resistance) into a Mini Cooper. I love my little car. I know present to you…My Mini Cooper!!!
Large homes, large SUVs, large purchases and large consumption is what has run this country and many of us into the ground. Two years ago as I said the most powerful word known to man. This simple word had more impact on my life than anything else I can think of…I said the word “NO”. As 10+ years of relationship came to a screeching halt with that simple word – my life blossomed like never before.
A friend of mine says “Move a muscle, change a thought” and I did just that. With that word, my world came to a screeching halt (or I thought it did). I moved out of my home with my possessions. And I had possessions!!!! My poor movers just stood there. I moved a HUGE bedroom set, a HUGE sofa and living room, HUGE appliances and a HUGE collection of extremely high end clothes, sheets, gadgets and everything in between from 3,500 sf into 2,300 sf. OH THE HORROR!
I adore my little home but it took me awhile to find my authentic self and to realize what was important and exactly what I could survive without. As I moved my items into my home, all I could do was laugh. There were boxes and boxes and boxes of memories, fun, sadness and possessions. I laughed so long and so hard that I ended up on a heap on my sofa. Boxes were everywhere. Not only am I a victim of excess, I am also a victim of service. I have always had others to do things for me and now I had the daunting task of unpacking. Oh…the horror!!!! As I made my way through these boxes I chuckled even more. I gave away things, tossed things and had a lot of WTF moments when I asked myself “WTF was I thinking when I bought this”. I mused to my friends that I would write a book and entitle it “My life in boxes”.
In this resurgence of self I realized many things. My friends asked me why I was so agitated in my new space. I had no idea. Then it descended upon me like a ton of bricks. At 46, I was alone! ALONE!!!! By myself!!! OH THE HORROR!!!!! I went to college, got married, had a child, got divorced and was always in the presence of someone (lover, daughter, etc.) Now I realize I am only responsible for myself. do not have to worry about my daughter. She is an adult and on her own. I don’t have to worry about school districts or cart her or her friends to movies, to school, to practice (and while I miss that – a part of me is relieved). I can live wherever I want to live. OH THE HORROR. This means I have to be responsible for MY actions. I can’t blame you if something goes wrong!!!!!!
I realized that I had never lived by myself! I live in this lovely home alone (because my SigOt, short for Significant Other) is on a short assignment in another state. This was the first time and the first place where I could be me (whoever that was). This is the first time in my 46 years that I moved into a place and made it MINE. With much encouragement, love and support from my SigOt (“Honey, this is your home, if you want it” he said sweetly) I took off like a spinning top. I moved, I rearranged, I sold, I gave away, I mused, I cried, I pondered, I wondered and I changed. I painted the entire downstairs – the colors I wanted – burlap, yam and I finally had my red (Claret) dining room. As I sat on my sofa, a few nights ago, I heard a small still voice say to me “This is YOUR home” and I cried.
Because of a bitter ex – I relinquished (not without a fight) my 4WD, 6 cylinder, 15 mpg, beast master Jeep. To think, this was a gift from someone I planned to spend the rest of my life with and she wouldn’t give me the title to the vehicle – instead she demanded it back. My attorney intervened and she went silent. Driving home one night with expired tags, the vehicle was impounded and guess what? I had NO feelings about it. It was no longer a symbol of love. It had become just a car. As I stood in the parking lot of a Big Lots calling cab companies, an Angel appeared and gave me a ride home. My Angel, Kimberly, in her youth, imparted so much to me. I took her words and still hold them close.
I stand here two years later – wise, smarter, healthier, authentic, happy, blissful, smaller, humble, patient, and glorious. To complete my downsizing – I moved (with much resistance) into a Mini Cooper. I love my little car. I know present to you…My Mini Cooper!!!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Food as Art - especially Chocolate
I was headed to pick up lunch yesterday and I spied Cacao in, of all places, Buckhead. OMG! I couldn't wait to head back North on Peachtree Road towards Lenox Mall.
I love Cacao. I found it years ago, delicately hidden in the Virginia Highlands area. I snuck in during Kristen Hard's (the Owner) grand opening and thought I had died and gone to Artisan Chocolate heaven. I bought at least one of everything she had that day. The Marshmallows were exquisite. The chocolate...listen Muses...this is how chocolate should be. Revered, honored, adored, nibbled and mused over.
I love chocolate and no matter how good a chocolate is touted to be, my initial response is to scarf it down. This is not the case in the amazing ethereal creations from Cacao. Whoa unto the individual that does not savor every sensual lingering bite of Cacao's creations!
I stopped in the Buckhead location and was close to tears as the wonderful associate catered to my every need. I was in a hurry to get back to the office (because I had been designated to pick up lunch) but I managed to grab a gorgeous assortment of chocolates. One of them was made with aged Scotch (be still my heart - I grabbed two of them for my sigot). I bought a Cacao and coffee bar emblazoned with bees! Oh how I love bees! I have to admit that I just ate a small square of this creation with a cup of coffee. HEAVEN!!! I also snagged these succulent maraschino cherries. These are NOT your Mother's maraschino cherries. These are deep dark decadence and in a shade of a sexy red (for all of fashionistas and Muses..think Kevyn Aucoin's bloodroses lippie). These cherries will rest gingerly in brandy and used to make a fabulous Manhattan.
The chocolate purchase...well, I had to fight myself not to eat it at work. I knew Kristen's work and knew it would be a disservice if I ate this creation in a rush. I fought and I fought hard and managed to make it home. I set the scene and mood - a long warm bath scented with basil, candles everywhere and a glass of red wine. I ate two pieces of chocolates as I drifted and drank wine. All is well in my world.
Please go see Kristen and her beautiful space. You won't regret it. You won't regret the money you spend either. This chocolate is meant to be savored, enjoyed, contemplated and nibble oh so lightly.
Treat yourself...SOON!!! www.cacaoatlanta.com/bio
I love Cacao. I found it years ago, delicately hidden in the Virginia Highlands area. I snuck in during Kristen Hard's (the Owner) grand opening and thought I had died and gone to Artisan Chocolate heaven. I bought at least one of everything she had that day. The Marshmallows were exquisite. The chocolate...listen Muses...this is how chocolate should be. Revered, honored, adored, nibbled and mused over.
I love chocolate and no matter how good a chocolate is touted to be, my initial response is to scarf it down. This is not the case in the amazing ethereal creations from Cacao. Whoa unto the individual that does not savor every sensual lingering bite of Cacao's creations!
I stopped in the Buckhead location and was close to tears as the wonderful associate catered to my every need. I was in a hurry to get back to the office (because I had been designated to pick up lunch) but I managed to grab a gorgeous assortment of chocolates. One of them was made with aged Scotch (be still my heart - I grabbed two of them for my sigot). I bought a Cacao and coffee bar emblazoned with bees! Oh how I love bees! I have to admit that I just ate a small square of this creation with a cup of coffee. HEAVEN!!! I also snagged these succulent maraschino cherries. These are NOT your Mother's maraschino cherries. These are deep dark decadence and in a shade of a sexy red (for all of fashionistas and Muses..think Kevyn Aucoin's bloodroses lippie). These cherries will rest gingerly in brandy and used to make a fabulous Manhattan.
The chocolate purchase...well, I had to fight myself not to eat it at work. I knew Kristen's work and knew it would be a disservice if I ate this creation in a rush. I fought and I fought hard and managed to make it home. I set the scene and mood - a long warm bath scented with basil, candles everywhere and a glass of red wine. I ate two pieces of chocolates as I drifted and drank wine. All is well in my world.
Please go see Kristen and her beautiful space. You won't regret it. You won't regret the money you spend either. This chocolate is meant to be savored, enjoyed, contemplated and nibble oh so lightly.
Treat yourself...SOON!!! www.cacaoatlanta.com/bio
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